it's the first day of springggggggg
oh how lovely.

i need to plant some plants in this backyard, it's soo desolate. i want to plant a weeping willow tree in the front and a cherry blossom tree in the back.
that'll jazz up this place a bit.

my dad and i installed new windows in the the apartment upstairs. it's warmer now. the only original window left is the one in the front but that one is just fine as it is since no cold air seeps through it. i've been alot more bussier owning a home than i used to when i lived at my parents. i have to cook and clean now :/. kinda of a bummer.

loida is ALWAYS here lol. she keeps me company. im happy for her since she finally got a job. its only a temp though but itll be enough till she finds the job she's looking for. she's working at the census bureau. she starts monday

vero hasnt come by yetttttttttttttt
veroooooooooooooooooooooooo

ok i have to go now, stupid friends :/

looks like it's time for a real update here.

well i actually forgot how a real update looks like since i just randomly pop in and out of this account. I should write in it more so i can just vent out on work and life issues instead of keeping them to myself.

Thanksgiving was ok, small dinner, nothing fancy. I think the best part of it all was the gordonices that we had instead of the usual pavo dinner. my mom doesnt know how to make good mash potatoes but she gives it her damn best. they were a bit runny so i kinda fix them by putting a whole container of parmesean cheese.

I didnt go shopping in the morning. I don't feel like dealing with dumb people in the wee morning hours. I'll just get everyone amex gift card for christmas, save me the headache of actually thinking of what they want for christmas. I actually watched the oprah special on wednesday and she had a very good idea that i actually think i might execute. She got an old shoe box and decked it out to all hell and inside she put like the best traits of that person in it. It's like a confidence booster when you need it. It doesn't even need to be a shoe box. It can be any kind of box but the idea is to take your time decorating and writing down what you like about that person.

Mmm, it was hectic at work on friday. the day went by fast though. customers actually behaved this year. counting 21k in cash takes a while though :/. I might buy a 360 today too. i have some games that i dont play anymore and that should take care a large chunk of it. i sold my original one to rick because i really didnt get to play it that much but now there's some really good games that i would like to play. im a sucker for good rpg's (role playing games) they're like little action novels.

I've haven't met any characters in my life yet. I go to the gym now too, x-sport fitness. It's open 24hr so it's good with the unsteady work schedule that i have. tito goes there too. i dunno who else from farragut that goes there. i see alot of customers from work there too, at least they leave me alone while i work out. they just nod to me. i dont mind if they talk to me though since most of the time i go by myself.

Loida was in town for a couple of weeks. I spent most of the past 2 weeks with her. it's always fun to be around her. I'm so proud of her and she doesn't even realize it. I'm so humble around her everyone one at work tells me lol. She actually went to the gym with me for those couple of days. She liked it too. She mostly sticked to the elyptical and treadmill while i went around and did my routine. She's in boston at the moment with her family. She'll be back for winter but after that she's moving to DC to work with Obama in the white house. Hopefully i'll save enough money so i can go visit her and get a personal tour of the white house. I'm going to miss her alot though :/. She's trying to get us tickets to the inauguration party in january so we can go, godspeed with that.

There was a party a couple of weeks ago at lucy's house. She's a good person too, always happy and talkative when im around. i met some good people that day but i didnt get anyone's number. we played beer pong(i suck horribly) and flippy cup. Rick stopped by with his cousins as well. At the end of the night Juan told me to calm down amanda because she was venting out on him. I havent talked to her since. I like amanda alot but she gets herself in these kind of situations that make me feel a little bit embarrassed on how the way she behaves around people, specially with alcohol in her hand. She only talks to me because im a good listener. Everyone at work says that i should go out with her but i honestly dont want to. she's good looking but her personality lacks. she's always having problems with her bf/fiance jesus. he's ok too but he always gloats around everyone. ugh. people.

My lovely friend Farah is throwing a christmas party on the 13th and she said that significant others are welcomed. I think im going empty handed in that department. I love farah, she's soo happy and brings a smile to my face. Hopefully my old crew from the hospital goes there so we can catch up on everything. She lives in Plainfield now too, she bought a house with tom, her bf. Tom's cool too. I'm so psyched about the whole party altogether.

We'll that's pretty much it for now, i think i just spent like 20 minutes typing this thing. >.>

oh yeah i have a anime addiction now thanks to my friend jeannie. damn her.

Dear Norma,

Whenever i see ugly betty on abc i think about you :P. Hispanic girl working for a corporation with a sense of style and always coming to your parents house for some home cooked meals :3.

i miss people :/

I hate my job sometimes but thank god I get to choose my staff. My boss is in bad health. She almost had a miscarriege on Monday. I felt bad. She doesn't even know if she wants to have this baby. Maybe it's a sign.

everyone has to watch the show weeds. it's hilarious.
oh and It's always sunny in Philadelphia.

You'll thank me later :)

Funny sign at the mechanic shop

To my beautiful and precious activist in our Hispanic communidad.





Feliz Cumpleanos Fanny :P

PS: toda via vamos a salir el domingo para que pido ese dia de descanso?
Puedes respondar aqui or mandar me un text!

six flags? anyone? buy one get one free till july 3rd. im off the whole week ;)

Serafin says:
fuck you
Jeff says:
?
Serafin says:
why do you have to live in canada;
Jeff says:
im sorry ;;
Jeff says:
what are u up to
Serafin says:
i wanted to go see the new indy movie
Serafin says:
BUT ALL MY FRIENDS ARE BEING FAGS
Jeff says:
starts tomorrow doesnt it?
Jeff says:
id go ;;
Serafin says:
in 10 min
Serafin says:
i know you would
Serafin says:
cuz you love me;
Jeff says:
yea!

man now i know how mexican women feel when they watch their novelas.

grey's and ugly betty better be as good as desperate housewives.
it's like watching mari mar or maria la del barrio.

Serafin says:
brb
Serafin says:
browns>superbowl
(Jeannie) salvage - Arrapago Remnants Saturday says:
browns O_O?
Serafin says:
kids>swimming pool?
(Jeannie) salvage - Arrapago Remnants Saturday says:
huh o_o?
Serafin says:
i went to go take dump
Serafin says:
/angry
(Jeannie) salvage - Arrapago Remnants Saturday says:
lol

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock


S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.


LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question … 10
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes, 15
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, 20
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes; 25
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate; 30
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go 35
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair— 40
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare 45
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, 50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all— 55
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? 60
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress 65
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets 70
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully! 75
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis? 80
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, 85
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while, 90
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”— 95
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while, 100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: 105
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . . 110
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use, 115
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old … 120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me. 125

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown 130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.



This is jeannie's analysis of me. She just linked me a poem.

no jeannie no

This LJ is as dusty as my desktop. I haven't written anything meaningfull. It's not like i'm required to preach to an audience but seems like half my friend list is dead to begin with.

Where to begin.

Well the previous post was an attempt to monitor my weight progress. yes i weight that much.

I have a bowflex and i intend to use it this year. Old Sera should be back by april/may tops.

Honestly, i haven't had a good conversation in ages. work is just tedious and boring. hustling people for more money than they want to spend is tiring. i really dont see myself working at gamestop any longer. i mean i love my crew but honestly it's a career im not looking forward to. my dm wants to give me a store but i havent told her anything. it's bad enough i handle most of the crew at the store i work at the moment.

Most of the crew is fun to work with. The rest just annoy me and add more gray hairs to my head than i actually need. People need to grow the fuck up. Im tired of setting high expectations out of them. It's not a hard job at all. Simple rules.

I haven't had any fun in about a year. I miss my old staff from Good Sam. They kept me motivated and confident. I wish I haven't left there to begin with but i just couldnt stand my boss. She was soo pessimistic towards brandon i just couldnt bare taking sides between the two.

Farah,Rain,James,Doe,Angelika,Brandon,Wendy,Armesha and Jessica will always be my crew. So many memories between them.
I loved Farah's cooking,
James humility,
Rain's humor and modivation on physical fitness,
Doe's smile,
Angelika's quirkyness,
Brandon being Brandon,
Wendy's heartwarming discussions at 3am,
Armesha's voice
and Jessica being a gear head.
To them i tip my hat.
I keep in touch with them mostly during the holiday's. I wish I could do it more often to arrange gatherings but everyone is soo busy now a days it's almost impossible finding a day off for all of us.

I miss arguing with brandon, dancing with christine and the hearty chuckles we shared.

I would hang around them both but i just cant stand both of them fighting so i try to keep my distance because i always just leave the apartment when they start fighting. but i will always love them for showing me the time of my life.

alas, my youthfull days are running towards a close.

Im 23 now and i still haven't done anything remotely productive with my life. My routine usually consist of playing ffxi and going to work but that's going to change :)

Devry was a costly mistake. I should of just stuck to my guns and stayed where i was.

I'm never happy anymore.

I expect so much of myself and dissapoint myself for not meeting the simplest goal in life. Finding Happiness.
Nowadays that requires money and looks, both which i lack. I never considered myself as a good looking guy(especially now that i've gain like 40 lbs since good sam). The kids in school always made fun of the scars on my face. That always put a dent into my self esteem. Money is alright at the moment, i'm making ends meet now since i dont travel that far or have extravagent dinners.

I wish i knew how to dance, i look like a fool when im trying to cut a rug. Amanda and Lucy danced with me before and i felt ashamed that i couldn't even move my hips. im soo stiff.

I sometimes wonder how i manage to befriend everyone. I haven't had someone to talk to at all for a while and the people at work don't get me that well. they think im an oddity.

Where did everyone go? What the hell do i do to make everyone forget about me? Am i that self centered and neuorotic that i offend everyone i meet? or am i not such a colorful figure that makes such an impact in your life?

773.266.0386. let me know what im doing wrong so i can make it a right and not feel lonely on the most boring days i have.

I never smile anymore and they always say im crabby. I'm the mean guy at work. I'm the guy they fear if people fuck up.

I dont want that title. I want to be the person they go to when they get in trouble or need someone to talk to :(. I want to be myself but i cant and i really dont know what the hell is holding me back.

I think i should just go outside and scream outloud to get rid of all the negativity in me.

Hope is a myth.

Being hopefull towards something is a thing i never understood. I always knew about doing but that somehow befriended me as well.

My mind is drained. My vocab is fried.
I need to get out more.
I need to stop being lazy.
I need to work out.
I need to start believing more in myself.
I need to start.
I just need.
I need.
I.

The word "I" makes me sound greedy, am i? Is it the way i use it?

I dont care. It's my journal and i'll write if i want to.

224

Soon :)

i gotta say, the closer (a show on tnt) is probably one of the best shows i've ever saw in my life.